on We Heart It.
If I could give myself one piece of advice every single time I felt anxious or unsure, it would be this:
If in doubt, say very little and wait to see what happens.
Another thing I would tell myself is this one:
There is nothing wrong with negative or mixed emotions, it’s okay to be confused, and it’s okay to feel things. Accept that as your state of being for the time being and allow yourself to sit with it as it passes, as it will in time.
I used to be pretty bad at dealing with challenging situations, but these two things have made a huge difference in my life, and they took a solid 28 years, an assault, and a bucketload of social faux pas to learn (although I’m never going to stop learning). Occasionally I trip up and fall into unhealthy patterns, but I don’t beat myself up about it. Rather, I recognise that I’ve stuffed up, accept it, apologise where warranted, and get back on track. We all make mistakes.
So er….yeah. I’ve had a bit going on lately. Nothing bad, but more than I’m used to, so I’m trying to be very aware of my internal wellbeing and practising good self-care habits so that things run smoothly in my life. I’m also lucky to have some fantastic and supportive friends, and now on top of that a really wonderful home.
The stress in my daily life is being slightly compounded by financial and educational concerns, namely my thesis. I have little time to work and earn money, and a deadline in what is now under four weeks to meet. I’m not the biggest fan of deadlines. They only really hold magic in the moment where they have passed and you have successfully submitted what you need in time. Everything leading up to that point is fuckery.
I’ve upped my social life and thrown myself heavily into art and music to cope. I’m starting to become a meatbag of emotions on the inside, I’m not really wanting to make that some sort of problem for anyone. This next month is going to be an ongoing exercise in the uni work equivalent of staring at the roof and thinking of summer. Or perhaps grabbing my ankles and thinking of unicorns. Somewhere along those lines. Feel free to enjoy that symbolism. I’m not paying for your counselling afterwards. :P
Things I’m looking forward to:
It’s just one more month. One more month and I can relax. One more month and I can dedicate more of my time to my hobbies and the people I care about. This too will pass.
Colocasia Esculenta ‘black magic’. 'Black Magic' is an elephant's ear cultivar which features unusual purplish-black leaves. It is a tuberous, stemless, frost-tender perennial of the arum family (see also calla lily and jack-in-the-pulpit) which typically grows 3-6' tall and as wide.
OMG I need this in my garden.
The potatoes have escaped
My day yesterday. What’s life without a little play?
Two of my lovely friends and fellow BM/cosplay babes posted this up a little while ago, and I wanted to share it here. You can catch them up on facebook under Audette Jupiter Cosplay. I’m going to share with you their message, because this is important.
”This photo could not be more appropriate for us after last weekend.
I’m sure so many of you can relate to this too, cosplay hate needs to stop. Its an issue that you don’t realise how much it affects people until you’re in the firing line sometimes. We’re both lucky to have each other as support and are both extremely comfortable with ourselves and the costumes we choose to wear.
Love yourself and love others… Or don’t bother coming to the conventions because we’re all fed up and won’t take it anymore. ”
Make em laugh Mistah J.
Gonna listen to KMFDM all day today I think. Yes. Perfect.
That’s fine with me
Don’t think I care
Do what you want
As you see fit
That’s quite alright
It’s all okay
Just be yourself
That’s fine with me
For a second you might wonder if it’s real
If that’s alright
Just say okay
If that felt okay
Let’s go again
For a moment you might question what you see
For a second your whole world will disappear
This is mindcontrol and you know it
This will shut you up and you know it
What’s wrong with you
Are you still here
Don’t slip away
Just breathe in deep
And stay awake
Don’t close your eyes…
That’s all you get
It’s all you need…